Countertop Convos

Today I am going to introduce you to my two best friends. These are they two girls that I go to with every relationship problem I have. I cannot tell you how many times they have seen me cry, scream, or worry about a boy. It happens weekly, but regardless of the frequent messes I get into they are always there to help me sort everything out. So here they are...

                     (Makayla)    (MacKenzie)

Everyone meet Makayla White and MacKenzie Wilson..the best friends in the entire world. I don't think you guys understand how much these two girls mean to me. We have spent countless nights just sitting on MacKenzie's kitchen countertop until 2 or 3 in the morning assessing life and relationships. We often got into really deep conversations about what it was exactly that we were looking for in a man, and what we expected out of a serious relationship. One night Makayla showered us with her wisdom. She said, "I have given this a lot of thought, we talk about what we are looking for in a man a lot and never really examine ourselves. I think that we should attempt to BE the person we are looking for." A lightbulb went off in my head when I heard these words! Be the person you are looking for. I mean it seems like a pretty obvious statement, but how many of us can say that we live by this philosophy? I sure can't. 

As we sat there contemplating the statement of pure genius, we began to pick it apart. Now, obviously we aren't talking physical appearance here, we are talking more about qualities and mannerisms. For example, let's say you are looking for a clean cut, well behaved man with good moral values and you are this girl who is notorious for sleeping around, partying until the sun comes up, who could careless about anyone's opinion of her or what she does. Sounds like the perfect match right? Absolutely not. The way I see it the only man you will find in that state of mind is someone equally as bad as you or worse. It is unfair for us to have such high expectations for a potential partner when we aren't living up to such high standards ourselves. 

I don't know what you are looking for in a relationship nor am I trying to tell you what to look for. I am simply giving you the chance to ponder something that I myself have been pondering for a while now. Maybe its time for a little self evaluation...

Are you being the person you are looking for? 

Stay true to you. Be♥YOU♥tiful.

xoxo

-The Heartbreaking Hipster

Broken Glasses and a Faded Past.

For the past month or so I have discovered that I have been seeing the world, and life as I know it through a set of very large, and very tinted rose colored glasses. I seem to have imagined that a certain relationship of mine was flawless, however, reality reminded me otherwise. So here's the story...

Once upon a time I was in love. In love? What is love? Most teenagers my age seem to struggle with the term love and it's complex meaning. I know that sounds crazy, being in love at 18 years old, but I felt like I had it all figured out. I had planned for the future and had been promised forever. Needless to say I was very naive. I had invested so much time, energy, and more importantly my whole heart into this relationship. I gave more than I received. This was easily the most obvious one-sided relationship ever. Easily obvious to everyone except me that is. Here I am, thinking that everything is perfect and that I had the relationship everyone else could only dream of having and boy was I WRONG. It was far from perfect. There was no trust, honesty was not our best policy, quality time was lacking, and our communication was terrible. But that's normal right? Wrong. 

A relationship built upon anything but trust is bound to crumble. I learned this the hard way. Keeping things from your significant other is a bad idea. The way I see it, if you hide the little things from one another, it slowly becomes easier to hide the big things and that is a big issue. So don't do it. 

Another huge downfall was that even though we had been together for a long time, we still couldn't be honest with one another. When feelings changed, actions didn't for fear of hurting the other. So here is lesson number dos...if you don't feel the same, say so. It is better to hurt someone with the truth rather than leading them on with lies. Trust me, it hurts more in the end to know you have wasted your time. 

Time is precious and shouldn't be wasted, which is exactly what happened with me. Summer is full of fun and whatnot but this summer was very busy for me. Working, vacations, and hanging out with old friends really limited my free time. Trying to squeeze a relationship into my schedule was virtually impossible. When I was free, he wasn't. When he was, I wasn't. Time was not on our side. So the lack of quality time was an issue. This could be a major issue for some couples, or it could be very minor. It all depends on how you spend the time you have together. Savor the moments, one day they will matter more than you thought. 

Wasted time and poor communication. These are not the ingredients for a successful relationship. I have heard every excuse in the book and with each excuse I heard, I made an excuse to validate the excuse in my head. This was a typical Sam move. You feed me a line and I will find a way to make it okay. For every bad excuse I could twist it into a good one, just to make myself feel better. I was sooooo blind. I had been lying to myself. I wanted to think that I had found what everyone else was looking for so badly that I got myself into a huge mess. I was trying to force love, where love wasn't to be found. 

It's safe to say that I have trashed my rose colored glasses and learned from my fading past. Ignorance isn't bliss when it comes to love. Ignorance in this game only leads to heartache. So don't be ignorant. Go into every relationship with a clear head, and an open heart. Being vulnerable isn't easy, believe me I know, but it is totally worth it. ♥

Stay true to you. Be♥YOU♥tiful.

xoxo

-The Heartbreaking Hipster

The Heartbreaking Hipster Intro

Hey,

My name is Samantha and I am THE heartbreaking hipster. I have recently embraced my inner hipster. I am from a small town in North Carolina where you don't find many people who exercise their individuality. I want to break down the barriers of conformity and let my inner hipster shine! Throughout this blog I will encourage you to go against the norm and discover the real you, while also sharing my personal relationship advice. Most of my friends are wondering why I am the one blogging about relationships. I have little experience in the relationship department, and the experience I do have is not what you would deem "perfect," however I feel that this gives me the right to advise you on what  not to do. So be prepared for lots of advice from the Heartbreaking Hipster. :)